Self-Soothing Toolkit
I was attacked by a large dog last week which understandably resulted in me experiencing some pretty heavy emotions. I was traumatised, violated, in total shock and felt very confused. Basically, I was completely out of balance. So to bring back some equilibrium after this upsetting event, I decided to practice some self-soothing to help regulate my emotions and offer myself some comfort.
My personal immediate go to, (which won’t come as a huge surprise) was to combine healing sounds with healing smells. I gave myself a mini sound blanket by playing my Tibetan sound bowls placed over my heart and held in front of me. The soothing vibrations and sounds of the bowls helped me to calm down and shift the fear that felt trapped in my body.
I also combined these soothing sounds with soothing natural smells to help me ground and calm my nervous system. May I Be Grounded or May I Be Nurtured are always like a big aromatic hug to my entire heart space.
Ever since I was a child, touch has also been such a calming sense for me to tap into. So hugging a pillow or soft toy, stroking smooth fabric or patting one of my cats still works for me as an adult. These simple activities gently usher me to a place of calm where all feels just a wee bit better.
I believe we all know what soothes us, but sometimes in the moment of stress we can forget what that is. If you need a little reminder of what works for you, think back to your childhood, you will receive some clues.
Ten ideas to build your own Self-Soothing Toolkit
All people need some soothing after acute stress, but it’s so hard to get creative and think of what to do for yourself when you are tangled in a raw overwhelmed state - particularly if there is no one around to provide you much needed support.
Rather than reach for alcohol, emotional eating or numbing yourself in front of a screen, I really encourage you to explore one (or more) of the following activities next time life becomes overwhelming - take note of what may work for you now so your self-soothing toolkit is full to the brim and ready for when life throws a curve ball directly your way.
1. Be in Nature
If possible, change your environment for a few minutes. Go outside and focus on nature, take off your shoes and stand on the grass or earth, look up to the sky while simply filling your lungs with a full focused breath.
2. Shake it out
Often, after upsetting news or a shock, our bodies respond by freezing and energy gets blocked. A few simple twists swinging the arms side-to-side, half neck rotations, or slow roll-downs hinging at the waist can help to shift stagnant energy.
3. Warm Shower or Bath
Wash away the funk you are feeling and revive with a warm shower or bath. Touch your body with compassion and care as you wash, then afterwards dry yourself with a big soft towel.
4. Soothing Touch
Wrap yourself in a blanket and tuck yourself in snug as a bug. Use a weighted blanket and eye pillow to help you feel safe. Visit a fabric store and select pieces of fabrics that are simply beautiful to touch. Smooth stones and crystals can also be comforting to hold.
5. Soothing Taste
Mindfully make yourself a pot of nourishing herbal tea. The process of boiling the jug, choosing your favourite cup and watching the tea infuse will help to slow your thoughts and relax your mind. Sip the warm liquid and feel the warmth radiate from the inside out.
6. Soothing Sounds
Sound (or silence) can have an immediate calming effect. Pop on some headphones and play your favourite music, soothing nature sounds, or try one of the many guided meditations that are available online or via apps like Insight Timer. Use noise cancelling headphones to help you to tune out if silence is what you need. Try a Sound Blanket experience to relax and release unwanted emotional stress from your body, mind and soul.
7. Soothing Smells
Smell is so powerful because it is closely associated with the part of our brain that regulates our emotions and memory. Surround yourself with natural and pleasant smells by pausing and using an essential oil diffuser, personal space mist, or essential oil roller.
8. Soothing Imagery
Find soothing things to look at such as your garden, an indoor space, pictures of loved ones, your pets, favorite places, a candle etc. Alternatively, close your eyes and visualise yourself in a safe, comfortable and happy place where you feel alive and balanced. Mental imagery can be so powerful.
9. Soothing Postures
‘Legs Up the Wall’ or ‘Child’s Pose’ are both rejuvenating Yoga poses that bring relief to the body, nervous system and mind. Hold either of these positions for 10-20 minutes or until you feel clear and rested.
10. Mindful Self-Compassion
Gift yourself the grace to be off-balance and allow some space to just feel what you are feeling. Hold your hand on your heart and whisper “I love you” or “I’m here for you” or “It’s going to be OK”.
No matter how we navigate our life and how emotionally resilient we think we are, from time-to-time life will still surprise us with difficult and unexpected events. Anything we can do to support ourselves during these times of loss and trauma is essential to easing the pain and struggle.
Self-soothing truly is a welcome life skill, and the techniques above can help you to manage life events, regulate your emotions and offer support in-between counselling appointments.
May you be well,
